What we hope for

Hope.

I'm not sure if it's in the good or bad books of my vocabulary at the moment.  To me, it does have positive connotations and I have always seen it that way.

However, I was challenged by the idea that for me to have hope was a surefire way to be disappointed and I may as well not bother.

I am still trying to reconcile the thought of it and it is quite trying if I am being honest.

narcolepsy | what is it?

So... one of the first things people usually say when they find out I have narcolepsy is... "what is it?" (usually accompanied by the slightly alarmed "never heard of it before... is it contagious?" look).

I figure that it is a fair question as I'd never heard of it before either... until I decided I was going to figure out if there was an official name & explanation for the symptoms I had come to regard as part of my everyday experience over the last decade.

Well here's a definition that is given by the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke:

Narcolepsy is a chronic disorder of the central nervous system characterized by the brain's inability to control sleep-wake cycles... (where sufferers) experience irresistible and sudden bouts of sleep which can last a few seconds to several minutes.   

People may unwillingly fall asleep while at work or at school, when having a conversation, playing a game, eating a meal, or, most dangerously, when driving an automobile or operating other types of machinery.

Yup.  So, while it's not always as exaggerated as they make it out to be in the movies (think Rat Race & Deuce Bigalow) I can get tired quite suddenly and it can happen more than once on any given day.

Ok.  That's the first instalment.  Feel free to ask questions and I'll try to answer them.


Oh and in case you were wondering, no it is not contagious. :)

perspective | thankful

I was really challenged over the weekend on hearing Kathy's message about thankfulness.  In particular, her stories about Mother Teresa and her views on life had me reconsidering my own attitude towards life.

Here is a quote that illustrates her view;

"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it."
— Mother Teresa

I think that too often, we are overwhelmed by our feelings and start to navel gaze and have pity parties.  I'm not saying that this is wrong to feel it (oh trust me, I've been there and done that WAY TOO MANY times) but to dwell on it and continue to sink deeper into it generally produces a negative effect/mindset that can be very hard to get out of.

So, is there a simple solution?  Here's one that's a mix of answers that I've heard from over the years.

It is in looking for the positive things that have happened, whether it is in our situation or in another's situation.  To rejoice with others when things go well for them.  To see the beauty in every situation and to give thanks for it all regardless of how it has affected us emotionally.

Sounds good right?  Cool... let's go... umm...

Well, I have trouble with the latter (part of the last statement).  I find that emotion often clouds my judgement and my first instinct is usually the sort that has me cringing when I think about it in hindsight years later (oh the shame!!) and hoping no one caught it on video.

I mean, how to give thanks and not be jealous or upset when you find out that YOUR job was given to that OTHER girl (who types at like 5 wpm like hello?!?) or that your latest crush is besotted (once again!) with your gorgeous bestie who always has that endless string of admirers.

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. (thanks Robyn!)

I know that often I feel like I'm the last to know.  The last to be picked when being sorted into teams.  Just watching, waiting, wishing that things could be better.

Poor me. Poor me.  You are invited to my pity partay..... (only if you sympathise though....)

And missing out on all the blessings that are already there.  Okay okay.

Well, it's an ongoing challenge, a daily battle but one that promises to be well worth it and enriching to one's life.

So who's in?

With a sense of humour

Ahhhhh life. You got to take it with a pinch of salt. And laugh. If u don't, it becomes quite bland and often can become bitter.

As I found out today, it sometimes requires quite a decent pinch of salt. Almost a Jamie or Nigella sized pinch.

The weekend with the most events on and I feel absolutely rancid. Timing huh?

Well I tried all the remedies I knew and made myself the usual ginger porridge only I forgot -you guessed it- that pinch of salt. It seems my taste buds have gone into OD -usually its the opposite way- and I drenched my congee in soy sauce.

Oh well. I guess I needed the extra salt.

Ok. It's back to bed. Eat. Sleep. Slowly get to food even if it means crawling to food. Eat. Sleep. Panadol. That's my life right now.

First time in 24hrs I've had the clarity of mind to focus on a task (yep slicing the ginger was fun...). Let's hope its a sign of better things to come.

Living

Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated? ~ Avril Lavigne

Cuddles with little Shelby <3

(yes, yes I am a pop nerd at <3)

In the immortalised words of the song Complicated, Avril's made a pretty good point.  Why do we make life more difficult than it really has to be?  I know I struggle with keeping it simple, real and not worrying about what someone else thinks I should be thinking or should be doing.

Met little Shelby today.  She was pretty hungry and did get a bit upset my arm wasn't satiating that need.  Once she figured out she wasn't getting any, she figured she'd just sit and relax, take it all in.  I think both of us enjoyed the experience - well I know I certainly did.

A bit of a reminder that I need to take a step back and have a look at the bigger picture rather than get caught up in the details... but to enjoy life's little joys too.